First dates can be nerve wracking or exciting, or a little of both. The potential of meeting someone truly special or maybe awful, the idea of being judged and judging, all muddle together to make for a pulse raising ride. As matchmakers we know how important the first date is, it's actually the most important date, since if it doesn't go well this is where the romance ends. Without adding too much pressure any first date could be like your most important job interview, probably even more so if you imaging letting the love of you life slip through your fingers with one simple mistake. So it stands to reason that just like in a job interview you should prep a little to be the best version of yourself.
Do a little research
There is nothing wrong with a little online snooping before a date, in fact I think it would be rude not to. Our instagrams, Facebooks and twitters are there for a reason so make the most of them and look up your new friend. Get some insight into their interests and get ahead of the game, be weary of over snooping, hitting their social media profiles so had you ask about their pets by name can read a little creepy. If you met online it's also a good idea to re-read their profile and remember the things that attracted you in the first place. These will always make great topics of conversation.
Look your best
This sounds like such basic advice but we see it as one of the number one fails from new clients and the reason we offer wardrobe consultations and makeovers. It's so easy to turn up straight from the office and bringing zero sexy to your encounter, or playing it over casual and appearing unsophisticated and sloppy. Men are completely visual and feeling chemistry is imperative for a second date, ladies it's always a good idea to show off your figure and flaunt your best assets to some degree. Wearing red has been proven to make men subconsciously find women more attractive so glam it up, I've never heard a male client complain his date was too sexy. Gentleman a good blazer is a fail safe and up your shoe game, women will inevitably be checking these out, judging you harshly on their merits. Adding an interesting twist to an outfit makes you stand out from the crowd and appear interesting, a good watch or wallet, a shirt with a great cut or luxury scarf will escalate your style.
The ideal place to meet
This is another one that is so easily messed up, in fact we make our clients run their date locations by us for approval because it is so crucial. There seems to be a trend of initial meeting over coffee, this is planing to fail. You can't flirt in Starbucks! Give yourself and them a chance. A date should allow time to continue on late into the evening with food and drinks. There should be enough privacy to talk freely and enough atmosphere to keep it lively. We love dates in hotel bars or walks through food markets or galleries. If you want to start with a walk know a place along the way to settle for refreshments and relax, make a first date special even if it's your fifth of the week.
Topics of conversation
One of the top complaints we hear back after a failed first date was that it was too intense. There is a fine line between showing an interest and grilling someone. A first date should really be about having fun not weighing up the long term prospects of the person, save this for date two. Relaxed questions about their day, hobbies, recent holidays or places they'd love to go make great conversations. Tell jokes but don't swear, have a drink but don't get drunk. Prying in to their relationship history, religious or political beliefs or financial status are not first date topics. Here's a really easy break down of first date easy conversation openers if you struggle with this part.....
Open: Compliment, just one.
Lead: How's you day/week been, let them know about yours, stressing the fun and interesting parts.
Make an offer: Find out if they are hungry or thirsty and fix this.
Tell a story: This can be something about your location, or a funny anecdote about why you chose the location or are happy with the choice of location or what drew you to wanting to go on this date and what you find interesting about them.
Closing a date
This is possible the most underrated part of a first date and I'll tell you why. You've had a great time and definitely want to see them again, however you didn't express this, they in turn leave with a sense of uncertainty about how it went and rather than face a possible rejection decide to not like you first. It's so common for us to see first dates fizzle out just because each party though they weren't good enough. Make it known you'd like a second date, if you think there's chemistry a kiss is great! (This isn't easy outside Starbucks). If you've had a great time tell the other person and make it easy for them to contact you and follow up. Don't make yourself appear super busy for the next few weeks or if you are going away ensure to keep in touch and keep the momentum alive. Men often cite lack of chemistry for not wanting a second date, based on thinking the lady wasn't attracted to them. So ladies work on flirting, this should be where you lead the way. Body language and light physical contact go such a long way in showing your interest and ensuring a second date. If in doubt think of this little trick leave you scent on your date to go home with and have them thinking of you all night.
Written by Gaia Beck